This year marks 30 years as a survivor of suicide loss and I have never spoken publicly about it. Losing one of the most significant people in my life changed me in more ways than I probably even know.

Some I’ve learned to cope with over the years, such as my anxiety and fear of losing another loved one. But others I’ve embraced and allowed to become a positive part of me. My enthusiasm for life, loving others and my desire to give hope are just a few that have been the drivers of my life’s endeavors.

The manner in which I lost my dad is still up for debate – an answer I will never have until we meet again. An overdose of his prescription medication was the physical cause of his passing. While his death was ruled a suicide, in my heart I’ll always believe it wasn’t what he intended to do.

When I learned of late actor Robin Williams’s death I immediately thought of my my dad. Funny, witty, nice guy… the kind of person you would invite to sit with you at the dinner table even if they were a complete stranger.

Anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide understands the never-ending confusion surrounding the loss. The “what could I have done to prevent this” mentality and guilt are probably the hardest parts of the grieving process.

Depression is ugly and those who suffer tend to be those you least suspect. For this reason I remind myself and others to love one another – to be kind – to forgive – to allow for mistakes – to be hopeful – to never settle – and most importantly to never give up.

Each night I set an alarm for a specific time to wake up the next morning and post a message on my Instagram of inspiration. I do this – no matter where I am or what I’m doing (I’ve even had to walk to find WiFi)

I do this for myself, for my dad and for anyone else who needs to hear it. I know a simple photo with words might not be the answer someone is looking for, but if it can offer a glimpse of light in their darkness, it fulfills its purpose.

So today – I ask you to go out there into the world with a gentle heart. Remind yourself we don’t always know what others are going through, forgive them for their shortcomings and be extra kind.

oxox,
Shannon